My Depression Story

I’m back

DarkHumor — Mon, 27 Oct 2008 16:50:24 +0000

It’s been a long time since I last wrote anything on this website. I’ve been too busy at work to live life. This has caused many problems that I will soon share. I am happy to be back.

Now it is time to start picking up the pieces of a life ignored. I am redefining my goals and will soon be ready to share my story and my daily struggles and my occasional triumphs. Watch this site over the next few weeks.

DailyStrength.org

DarkHumor — Wed, 13 Jun 2007 04:36:54 +0000

The DailyStrength.org website was recently mentioned in the Yahoo! Depression-Anxiety Group as a decent online support group. Someone did complain that their information they posted on their DailyStrength.org personal home page was publicly searchable with Google. I just barely registered for the service, so I haven’t verified the claim of the Google search. After I have spent some time with the service, I will post a review.

http://dailystrength.org/

Web-based Self-Help

DarkHumor — Tue, 12 Jun 2007 23:42:31 +0000

I have been finding a number of self-help websites that help people deal with depression and anxiety. Here are a few of them:

MySelfHelp.com
- I highly recommend this interactive self-help tool that uses cognitive behavioral therapy to assist the user in dealing with his problems. I’ve been using it now for a month, and it has already helped me improve my sleeping patterns. The depression section is good, but it doesn’t seem to be as well developed as the “Conquer Insomnia” section. There is a journal, sleep diary, calendar, medicine tracker, depression log, stress table, and many other interactive tools.
Robert F. Sarmiento’s Cyber Psychologist
- This site has some helpful information, but seems to contain the standard helps found elsewhere. It is a completely non-interactive website. Even so, I really found the section on Therapy Goals to be very useful.

Maintain 2 Blogs on the Same Topics?

DarkHumor — Tue, 12 Jun 2007 23:33:33 +0000

Currently, I maintain two blogs for My Depression Story. I don’t know which to continue supporting. I have one on WordPress, where I get more visitors. I have this one on my own webhost, where I don’t get any visitors. I don’t want to duplicate every entry. The only advantage of having it on WordPress.com is the number of visitors. There are a lot more advantages with having it on my own webhost, since I can customize everything, add plugins, modify the database, etc. Maybe I need to find a way to draw visitors to MyDepressionStory.com and abandon the WordPress.com blog.

MySelfHelp.com

DarkHumor — Tue, 12 Jun 2007 17:55:00 +0000

For the past month I have been using MySelfHelp.com. It seems to be a good resource. I recommend it.

New Links to examine

DarkHumor — Tue, 12 Jun 2007 17:54:39 +0000

This is a list of the websites and articles that I wish to examine. I haven’t evaluated them, so some may be good, others may suck. Not sure. That’s why I want to check them out. If I don’t like one, I’ll remove it from the list. Once I’ve looked at a site, I’ll put it on my Del.icio.ous feed.

Do I have soft bipolar disorder (Bipolar II)?

DarkHumor — Thu, 07 Jun 2007 21:31:01 +0000

Do I have Bipolar II disorder? Could hypomania be what I call normal? This could explain why I feel depressed most of the time. This could explain why Tegretol (carbamazapine) works so well for me. This could explain why I have rapid cycles. This could explain why I will stay up really late having a great time and then crash into a deep depression the next day. If so, I know I don’t have hypomania very often.

I definitely have depression, but could I also have hypomania but not want to admit it or even recognize it?

Right now, I feel great with lots of energy and moving fast and thinking fast. Yes, I drank caffeine at lunch, but I actually drank a less than I typically do. My body hurts, but that is normal. I think I may need to look at the symptoms of hypomania to discover if this may be what I have.

Although, last night I did get 7 hours of sleep, which is more than each of the previous several nights. Maybe, I just got a decent night’s sleep.

It’s hard to say what I have, since I believe that the effects of my severe sleep apnea complicate any diagnosis beyond my already diagnosed depression.

My symptoms for depression

DarkHumor — Tue, 05 Jun 2007 23:27:53 +0000

More physical pain than normal - excessively massaging my arms and legs to attempt to relieve the pain
Lack of focus and concentration
Fatigue
Stay up really late before the big crash
More irritable
Cry easier
Moody
Difficulty making decisions
Can’t sit still or don’t want to move in extremes
Stay in bed
Avoid work
Avoid people
Stay awake at night and sleep during the day
Want to spend money, eat, or do something to avoid or ignore the issues
Lack of interest in my spouse
Retreat into my shell and avoid any intimacy
Don’t want to have conversations
Difficulty thinking deeply
Deadening of emotions
Lack of pleasure
Lack of motivation
Easily frustrated with difficult tasks or complex decisions

I sleep less than I thought

DarkHumor — Tue, 05 Jun 2007 18:15:40 +0000

For the past several months, I have kept a record of my sleep habits using the Alertness Diary. I can’t believe how little sleep I actually get and how little time I actually spend in bed. I seem to generally get between 5 and 7 hours during the week, and then on the weekend, I am so tired that I need to sleep a lot to pay the accumulated sleep debt. I definitely need to improve my sleep habits.

Combined with my severe sleep apnea, I don’t get much sleep at all.

Cognitive Therapy vs. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy?

DarkHumor — Tue, 05 Jun 2007 18:10:26 +0000

What’s the difference between Cognitive Therapy and Cognitive Behavioral Therapy other than the word in the middle? Obviously, there must be some action involved in order to be behavioral. What are the differences?